Doddering

A side effect of age

Doddering (adjective); trembling or shaky; moving in a feeble or unsteady way; usually associated with age

Synonyms include lurching, staggering, tottering, shuffling, weaving, waddling, stumbling, rolling, stomping, and reeling.

The word has an unfortunate negative and pejorative connotation, as it is often associated with both mobility issues and cognitive decline. On top of this, there is a ladle full of ageism. This is far from reality, so I focus only on gait problems in this essay. Senility is another matter entirely. This distinction is especially pertinent today in view of the upcoming presidential election, where the word has been fully weaponized to mean incompetent.

I hadn’t thought much about this topic until I entered the world of dodderers. I am on the cusp of joining this cadre, who has proudly survived the many exigencies of living in the modern world. People born in the 40s have lived in eight decades, two centuries, and two millenniums. We had the best music and the fastest cars. We're just cool. We have survived beyond our expiration dates, but we always knew that the dates the government stamps on perishables were meaningless. This resilience and adaptability are truly inspiring.

Most of these fine folk are invisible, safely sequestered behind the walls of over 55-year-old communities or senior living centers. Even so, a substantial fraction are willing to challenge the world by going on a cruise. Indeed, cruising is their prime vacation choice, though it should not be for reasons that will become clear. We are currently on a cruise, allowing me to observe a large population of dodderers up close, personal, and in their preferred recreational habitat. Although they do not comprise a majority of the ship's complement, they are a fascinating sight.

We are readily recognized by our wide stance and shuffling gait. There are different styles. For some, there is a back-and-forth movement; for others, especially Rubenesque women, there is the side-to-side waddle. Usually bent at the waist, some seek the next railing or hand support. The biggest fear is the possibility of falling. We should all appreciate and understand this diversity within the older generation. There is a clear progression from the youthful days of rock hopping with gay abandon and complete confidence to clutching a walker. The earliest sign that things are amiss is when you start taking tentative and shorter steps, going downhill. Next, you rely on a handrail. After that, it is all downhill, so to speak.

The causes of this change accompanying aging are incredibly complex. You can probably rest assured that the loss of proprioception is not due to the degeneration of your spinal cord due to tertiary syphilis, a condition known as tabes dorsalis. Penicillin and other antibiotics got rid of that in the 50s. For those unfamiliar with the term proprioception or kinesthesia, it is the sense that tells you where all your body parts are in space and includes posture, weight, and limb position in relation to the rest of your body. It’s a pretty important sense and relies on nerve inputs from all sorts of places, such as muscle spindles that detect the stretch and force of muscle contraction, nerves around joints and tendons, visual cues, skin sensations, and many others. All these let you know where and how to move. We all age differently, although the end result makes us look the same - a shuffle across the floor without any accompanying music.

Despite all the claims from some self-proclaimed longevity gurus, no magic potion will reverse these changes. Various exercises can definitely help stabilize the situation, and an active lifestyle is a big plus. Maintaining muscle mass and strength is really helpful, with the same expedients of a decent diet, regular exercise that includes weights or resistance training, and walking.

Cruising offers an additional challenge. The ship becomes quite unstable at sea depending on the weather conditions. Any gait issues become exaggerated. Handrails help, but watching a group of us waltzing down the corridor to the dining room can be disturbing.

This population has another obvious issue. We were all raised in an era when the sun was thought to be good for us.  A deep tan was a mark of beauty, and we would spend hours slathered in olive oil or some other emollients, baking in the sun. It turned out that this did not do good things to our skin. Sun exposure and age produced enough lesions of protean variety, helping young dermatologists send their kids to Ivy League schools. My skin alone has enough pathology for a complete textbook on geriatric skin hickies. Most are benign, if not ugly, but the occasional one misbehaves and has to be hacked off.

What fascinated me more was a certain group of women, a sizable percentage of whom had enriched plastic surgeons, who spent many hours in the spa receiving a panoply of magic potions courtesy of the snake oil sellers. Having completed their stint with the “therapists,” they immediately headed to the outside deck for another dose of solar radiation until they resembled dried prunes. Humans’ vanity has no bounds. Another random observation is that 90% of the women, all incipient dodderers, still dye their hair.  Perhaps I am the only one who notices they are no longer svelte or eighteen. The denial of biology is epidemic and quite sad. Instead of embracing the wisdom accumulated over the years and celebrating being crones, they attempt to recreate their youth. It does not work.

While writing this epistle, a couple of important events occurred. We went on a four-mile hike along the incredible levadas of Madeira - the irrigation canals that date back to the 1500s that bring water from the mountains to all the farms. The mountains of Madeira are steep, and I had an acute attack of acrophobia and dodderism. Part of the track was inches wide with precipitous drop-offs. They were a challenge, but I battled through them, earning a glass of ‘poncha’ at the end of the hike. The rum might have helped me initially, but it was a welcome reward at the end. However, as I brought up the rear of the hiking group, it was clear that I was firmly on my way to being classified as a certified dodderer. The second was the first presidential debate; being at sea, we never watch any television, which is a major health benefit of cruising. But reading the reviews the next day, it seems like peak dodder was achieved. Such is the nature of biology.